[Rushtalk] One-liners re Obama

Carl Spitzer winblows at lavabit.com
Sat Jul 13 08:30:43 MDT 2013


(Allegedly attributed to Jay Leno, but I can't confirm.)
 
 
"I was going to start off tonightwith an Obama joke, but I don't want
to 
get audited by the IRS." 
 
On NSA surveillance:  "We wanted a president who listens to all
Americans - 
now we have one." 
 
On a new IRS commissioner: "He's called 'acting commissioner' because he
has 
to act like the scandal doesn't involve the White House." 
 
On closing the Guantanamo prison for terrorists: "If he really wants to 
close it, turn it into a government-funded solar power company. The
doors 
will be shut in a month." 
 
Concerning the Benghazi , Associated Press, and IRS scandals:  "Remember
in 
the old days when President Obama's biggest embarrassment was Joe
Biden?" 
 
On Obama saying he didn't know about the IRS scandal: "He was too busy
not 
knowing anything about Benghazi to not know anything about the IRS." 
 
"The White  House has a new slogan about Benghazi : Hope and change the 
subject." 
 
"It's casual Friday, which means that at the White House, they're
casually 
going through everybody's phone calls and records." 
 
"It is not looking good for President Obama. Today his teleprompter took
the 
fifth." 
 
"Fox News has changed its slogan from 'Fair and Balanced' to 'See, I
told 
you so!'" winking happy face
 
"These White House scandals are not going away anytime soon. People in
Kenya 
are now saying he's 100 percent American. That's how bad it's gotten." 
 
On Obama's commencement address: "He told the young graduates their
future 
is bright unless, of course, they want jobs." 
 
On a Chicago man who set a record for riding a Ferris wheel: "The only
other 
way to go around and around in a circle that many times is to read the 
official report on Benghazi ." 
 
On White House claims of ignorance on the  scandals: "They took 'Don't
Ask, 
Don't Tell' out of the Pentagon and moved it into the White House." 
 
 






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